Sunday, January 19, 2014

From the Depths of Sodomy & Sex to Deliverance & Forgiveness: My Testimony.

Once a Sinner, Now a Saint.

Testimony of a Sinner named John.


Now the man out of whom the devils were departed besought him that he might be with him: but Jesus sent him away, saying,Return to thine own house, and shew how great things God hath done unto thee. And he went his way, and published throughout the whole city how great things Jesus had done unto him.
Luke 8:38-39 KJV


I can personally relate to Homosexuality because I was delivered of that satanic demonic spirit as well as other demons and principalities when I surrendered all to Jesus Christ,Our Savior and Redeemer during the second week of May,2012 after my graduation from college, For this is my Testimony. When I was young my mother had a friend who had a son who was obviously consumed by the feminine spirit of homosexuality. When I would go over to my mother's friend's house, me and him majority of the time always be alone by ourselves while my mother and His would talk and do what adults would do. Being alone with him, I never though there was anything wrong with what would take place while we were alone, my knowledge about sexuality was broad and I never truly had the talk about what it meant to be a man and to not engage with another male, my mother would just always say “watch yourself, you know he is gay” with that statement alone, it display how some people in the past and present generation sees people who are bond in homosexuality. People give off that “Shoo, Don't Bother me with your Sin” attitude and personality, in that person's presence and in secrecy, which gives off a direct sense of “I can't Help you” vibe. Looking back on it, I could see why homosexuality has not been resolved or even brought to attention back in the 90s, people just wanted to keep it under wraps instead of exposing the sin for what it was, sin. People rather please the flesh(people) and remain silent rather then taking prosecution for the cause of Christ that Jesus Promised to get to the Root of the demonic Spirit,Rebuke the spirit and set a person free from their captive sinful nature, thus leading them to Jesus Christ to have redemption over their spirit. Me being young and seeing the angry countenance on my mother's face as she spoke those unexplainable words to me as a child, it in a sense scared me and I did not say anything about me already engaging in those sexual activities with him to her because of how her facial expression would look when she would tell me what to do in the presence of him and his company. I was a few years younger then him but it was evident that the spiritual maturity of homosexuality was present within him. Everyone should know that a spirit, good or bad does not hold age to their eternal being, for it is eternal and can not perish. His profound demonic wisdom of how to “Bump” and “Grind” and to do all the perverted things we did astounds me today as I look back on them and compare them to how a perverted spirit is and how they operate. Different Times I remember that sometimes we would grind against each other and thus ejaculate on one another, other times I could recall him giving me oral intercourse as well as me giving him oral intercourse. As the spirit of perversion was in him it began to attach itself onto me. I could remember one night when I came to spend the night over their House and his aunt was there and I got frustrated and mad because she was there and we could not do anything sexual, the emotional soul tie had thus been connected between me and him and came into play along with the sexual sin of homosexuality. So as you begin to engage in sexual perversion either with the opposite sex or same sex, emotional Ties will be formed in the spiritual realm and allow you to “Feel” like it is alright to continue in the Sinful acts in the flesh. What ever is occurs in the Flesh realm has been manifesting in the spiritual realm. As I grew up and was In high school, I never was attracted to males on the outside, but once I started to learn about Transsexuals I became overwhelmed in the flesh with the Outside appearance/Beauty of what a man could “Look like” on the outside and portray themselves as a woman through their transformed personality and character through their walk and talk capacity. I was always attracted to women but my flesh desire of being with a male when I was younger was brought back to the surface with the introduction of knowing what a Transsexual was. At Times throughout my high school years, I would met transsexuals through the internet to have intercourse with. This is how the devil works, before I would go meet them, something in my spirit would always tug at me and move me to not do it, but my flesh on the other hand would get arouse at the “Thought” of how “good” it would “feel” and how much satisfaction I would receive from engaging in the activities. The one thing that boosted my flesh to go through with it would be the exchange of nude pictures and text messages that revolved around what would take place. As you can see the devil uses “additional things” to “Lure you IN” to committing a Sin. From high school to college,the homosexual Spirit died down for a period of Time but know that spirit was still active within me because I was still engaging in the Sin of Fornication. When one devil seems like they cease to be active within you they always go and bring other demons that are more wicked then the one who has left for a season.

"When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none.44 Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished.45 Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation."
Matthew 12:43-45 KJV

I was heavily pressured by my peers in High school to hurry up and have sex, I remember one person in class said to me “John you better Have sex before you die” I was Picked on constantly throughout elementary to High School, and when they would say that, I would get real paranoid and believe I would die without me being able to experience what they spoke of. Some would speak different, to each their own but I lost my virginity to a woman when I was 18 in college(freshmen). Along with me going through this transition stage of losing my virginity, I still felt a “Void” of dissatisfaction with my sexuality. So throughout college I would always get myself involved with Internet conversations through chat website communities via chat rooms, desktop messengers and thus met transsexuals and try to met them If I could. If I couldn't we would engage in phone intercourse (majority call it “Phone Sex”),web cam, anything that I could do to allow my flesh desires to be fulfilled. I could remember being Up Late countless times looking for porn and or seeking to have phone conversations with a woman or a transgender, either sexuality just to receive the pleasure my flesh wanted. Confrontation of transsexuals in person did not be the climactic focus of my Sinful Desire because I did not want to be “exposed” of what I desired and have a label attached to me as being a “Homosexual” or “Gay”. I concealed it among myself so that at the same time of keeping my identity as being a straight male in the eyes of society, the thrill of being on the low became an adrenaline rush to me as well. Throughout my college years, I continued to have intercourse with transgenders even when I had a girlfriend. The one thing that I have to say in relation to what I done in my past with transsexuals is that, after I committed the action, the intensified motives to commit the Sin left me every single time after I had ejaculated, making me feel vulnerable,ashamed and I always was left with the question that I asked myself every time afterward “Why Did I even do that?” The devil will lead you to the barn house to get slaughtered every time in the spirit and leave you at the end of your sinful act “feeling” empty and missing something that is very important in this Life and that is knowing who you truly are and what is your divine purpose on this earth in which God has Created. As the last year of my college years had approached, I began to be connected to a spiritual sister who was heavily anointed by the presence of the Holy Ghost, me not knowing at the time, I know that was the Lord truly introducing himself to me. I would just view her status here and there, not never truly seeking for myself because I was obviously living in Sin, in a sense of me looking at her statuses from time to time I thought my Life and my walk with the Lord was acceptable in His eyes and that If I just prayed at night I would be alright. Now that I look back those moments and how I though about things, If I would have died in my past, I know I would of went straight to Hell. I wasn't praying nobodies prayers at night, I was going out, Partying,drinking,masturbating and fornicating frequently and composed of all things that consumed my flesh was me smoking marijuana. I smoked so much, with peers and by myself alone that with my own finances I believe I spent over 1,000 dollars, maybe even more, in a time frame of about 7 months with back to back purchases of the substance. As I continued to do the things of this world, I remember three particular nights that the Lord will never let me forget, for they are Truly a Blessing to have happen because It lead to me be in the position I am with Him, Filled with his abundant Grace,Mercy and the third person in the Trinity, The Holy Spirit, Thank You Jesus, To God be the Glory. The first night was when before I went to sleep I tired to Pray Psalms 23 because I always knew it, my mother taught it to me throughout my youth and it ministered to my heart to always remember this prayer for it held me close to the Lord but that night as I got half way of reciting it I could Not remember the words, it stumped me and it was brought to my knowledge that something was terribly wrong, that I have definitely been removed from the presence of God, for God does Not Like Sin and he will remove one self from his Presence. The second night was when I was fasting, giving my body to the Lord, but me still living in my sinful desires, that evening I began to smoke with a group of friends, it was almost 12 o clock and I was going to get off my fast, I shake my head at myself looking back now on how ignorant I was to mock the Son of the Living God by intertwining Holy Devotion of the Flesh(fasting) with smoking marijuana(Sin). As I smoked, for those who have smoked, you know it is a false sense of Happiness and Joy as well as a consumption of Paranoia. As I was laughing, I leaned over Hard in laughter and the Holy Ghost consumed me in the mist of Sin and said unto me “Stop Laughing”, soon as He said this I stopped laughing and I began to position myself in an Upright Position, as if I was sitting in an high chair almost. He then proceed to ask me “Do you see everyone in this room?” I then replied “Yes I do” He then proceed to say to me “Everyone on earth haves an ordained purpose on earth, the Longer they prolong turning to the Lord, the less likely it would be for them to fulfill their destiny, come with me, join me in this battle” then the presence of the Holy Spirit Left me and I was back to my state of mind of being paranoid. This was the main Climax that drew me near to the Lord. I just want to give him all praise and worship in the middle of me explaining the Totality of My Testimony. I Thank You Father for saving a wretch like Me, You have been NOTHING but Merciful to Me throughout My Life even in the MIST of my SIN you came unto me to show me that You desire me to be a servant unto the Kingdom of Heaven and I say Thank You for showing me your Glory and your magnitude of Power and abundant Grace upon my Life. Thank You Jesus!!! Thank You Lord!!!*Raises Hand In Surrender*. The Third night that was significant to my change was when I was going out to a party and I had once again smoking marijuana, as I am walking down from my apartment at my college, there were three females and one was drunk, her friend asked me could I help her carry her friend to the car and me being under the influence, I smiled and said “Yea sure, I don't mind” As I am taking her friend to the car, the girl I was holding lean over to me and said “Hey what is your name” I replied by saying “John” and she then asked me “John, have you been drinking or smoking” I smiled and said “Smoking” she then laughed, mind you I never met this girl before that night that I helped her in the car, I seen her around campus a few times but never sparked up a conversation with her, that was just how my personality was in relation to staying to myself. As she laughed she then turned back towards me and said “You know that You are going to have to stop smoking” Me being under the influence, I just laughed and kept helping her to the car, as I put her in the car, her friend said “Thank You” and I proceed to say “Y'all be Safe” before the girl who I helped get to the car got all the way inside the car, she then looked at me and said “Alright John, remember You are going to have to stop smoking”. As I got in my car, I kept smiling but something in me said “That was nothing but the Holy Spirit talking to me” As I look back on all three scenarios, All I could do at times is just break down and cry because the presence of the Holy Spirit is just pure Love, Grace and will do everything it wants to do in order to get your attention, but YOU have to make the choice to take heed to the message(s) that the Holy Spirit says to you through other people. As You Read the Totality of My Testimony I pray from the deepest parts of my Heart,Mind and Spirit that Only God knows about that this truly touches your spirit to Truly, I mean Truly Seek God Diligently and Repent of your Sins and allow the Lord our God to enter into your Life so that the manifestation of the Holy Spirit can commence. As I graduated from college and came back to my home in Charlotte, I felt in my flesh to want to engage in smoking again, as well as fornication, but as I sat on the couch, their was a split decision that had to be made. It was like I was drawn in a spiritual conference room with My spirit and the Holy Spirit debating and waiting for my decision to be made before the thorn of God. As I said “Man I want to smoke” I stopped myself and remembered that I was not where I used to be, a new season of my life had begun and I didn't want to be the same “John” that I was in college, so as I sat there, I asked the Lord right then and there to Removed every desire of any and everything that was not of Him away from Me and as I spoke those words, I had No desire,want or craving of smoking,fornicating,transsexuals,Secular Music, None of the world resides In me, I have been Set Free(John 8:36). I was Heal and Delivered and I Thank the Lord til this Day, I Rejoice and Give him all Praise and Worship. For the Lord our God is so GREAT in all He does!!! If He Delivered Me from Sinful Lifestyle, He can definitely deliver and Bring you out of yours as well, Believe, have Faith in his holy name and Call upon him with a sincere Heart and He will Forgive you of All Sins and Transform you into a Child of Light so that you can be the Light of the World and Testify on behalf of the Great God, the Almighty Savior of the World, Jesus Christ, Thee Messiah.

I Pray that those who have Read can Accept the Lord Jesus Christ By Faith and Believe that He died for your Sins and mine and Repent of All Sins. For it says in word that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 KJV

I don't know you, but I Love you, Just as God loved us to Give us his Only Begotten Son to Die for our Sins so that we may be reconciled with God.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16 KJV

And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; 2 Corinthians 5:18 KJV


May the Lord bless you and If you are Saved by the Blood of Jesus Christ please pass this on to an individual you may know who can be blessed by this testimony and words of encouragement.









May the Lord, Jesus Christ receive Glory upon Glory, Today and forever more.