Once
a Sinner, Now a Saint.
Testimony
of a Sinner named John.
Now
the man out
of
whom the devils were departed
besought
him that he might
be with him:
but Jesus sent him away, saying,Return
to thine own house, and shew
how great things God
hath done unto thee.
And he went his way, and published
throughout the whole
city
how great
things
Jesus had done unto him.
Luke
8:38-39 KJV
I
can personally relate to Homosexuality because I was delivered of
that satanic demonic spirit as well as other demons and
principalities when I surrendered all to Jesus Christ,Our Savior and
Redeemer during the second week of May,2012 after my graduation from
college, For this is my Testimony. When I was young my mother had a
friend who had a son who was obviously consumed by the feminine
spirit of homosexuality. When I would go over to my mother's friend's
house, me and him majority of the time always be alone by ourselves
while my mother and His would talk and do what adults would do. Being
alone with him, I never though there was anything wrong with what
would take place while we were alone, my knowledge about sexuality
was broad and I never truly had the talk about what it meant to be a
man and to not engage with another male, my mother would just always
say “watch yourself, you know he is gay” with that statement
alone, it display how some people in the past and present generation
sees people who are bond in homosexuality. People give off that
“Shoo, Don't Bother me with your Sin” attitude and personality,
in that person's presence and in secrecy, which gives off a direct
sense of “I can't Help you” vibe. Looking back on it, I could see
why homosexuality has not been resolved or even brought to attention
back in the 90s, people just wanted to keep it under wraps instead of
exposing the sin for what it was, sin. People rather please the
flesh(people) and remain silent rather then taking prosecution for
the cause of Christ that Jesus Promised to get to the Root of the
demonic Spirit,Rebuke the spirit and set a person free from their
captive sinful nature, thus leading them to Jesus Christ to have
redemption over their spirit. Me being young and seeing the angry
countenance on my mother's face as she spoke those unexplainable
words to me as a child, it in a sense scared me and I did not say
anything about me already engaging in those sexual activities with
him to her because of how her facial expression would look when she
would tell me what to do in the presence of him and his company. I
was a few years younger then him but it was evident that the
spiritual maturity of homosexuality was present within him. Everyone
should know that a spirit, good or bad does not hold age to their
eternal being, for it is eternal and can not perish. His profound
demonic wisdom of how to “Bump” and “Grind” and to do all the
perverted things we did astounds me today as I look back on them and
compare them to how a perverted spirit is and how they operate.
Different Times I remember that sometimes we would grind against each
other and thus ejaculate on one another, other times I could recall
him giving me oral intercourse as well as me giving him oral
intercourse. As the spirit of perversion was in him it began to
attach itself onto me. I could remember one night when I came to
spend the night over their House and his aunt was there and I got
frustrated and mad because she was there and we could not do anything
sexual, the emotional soul tie had thus been connected between me and
him and came into play along with the sexual sin of homosexuality. So
as you begin to engage in sexual perversion either with the opposite
sex or same sex, emotional Ties will be formed in the spiritual realm
and allow you to “Feel” like it is alright to continue in the
Sinful acts in the flesh. What ever is occurs in the Flesh realm has
been manifesting in the spiritual realm. As I grew up and was In high
school, I never was attracted to males on the outside, but once I
started to learn about Transsexuals I became overwhelmed in the flesh
with the Outside appearance/Beauty of what a man could “Look like”
on the outside and portray themselves as a woman through their
transformed personality and character through their walk and talk
capacity. I was always attracted to women but my flesh desire of
being with a male when I was younger was brought back to the surface
with the introduction of knowing what a Transsexual was. At Times
throughout my high school years, I would met transsexuals through the
internet to have intercourse with. This is how the devil works,
before I would go meet them, something in my spirit would always tug
at me and move me to not do it, but my flesh on the other hand would
get arouse at the “Thought” of how “good” it would “feel”
and how much satisfaction I would receive from engaging in the
activities. The one thing that boosted my flesh to go through with it
would be the exchange of nude pictures and text messages that
revolved around what would take place. As you can see the devil uses
“additional things” to “Lure you IN” to committing a Sin.
From high school to college,the homosexual Spirit died down for a
period of Time but know that spirit was still active within me
because I was still engaging in the Sin of Fornication. When one
devil seems like they cease to be active within you they always go
and bring other demons that are more wicked then the one who has left
for a season.
"When
the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry
places, seeking rest, and findeth none.44 Then he saith, I will
return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he
findeth it empty, swept, and garnished.45 Then goeth he, and taketh
with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they
enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse
than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked
generation."
Matthew
12:43-45 KJV
I
was heavily pressured by my peers in High school to hurry up and have
sex, I remember one person in class said to me “John you better
Have sex before you die” I was Picked on constantly throughout
elementary to High School, and when they would say that, I would get
real paranoid and believe I would die without me being able to
experience what they spoke of. Some would speak different, to each
their own but I lost my virginity to a woman when I was 18 in
college(freshmen). Along with me going through this transition stage
of losing my virginity, I still felt a “Void” of dissatisfaction
with my sexuality. So throughout college I would always get myself
involved with Internet conversations through chat website communities
via chat rooms, desktop messengers and thus met transsexuals and try
to met them If I could. If I couldn't we would engage in phone
intercourse (majority call it “Phone Sex”),web cam, anything that
I could do to allow my flesh desires to be fulfilled. I could
remember being Up Late countless times looking for porn and or
seeking to have phone conversations with a woman or a transgender,
either sexuality just to receive the pleasure my flesh wanted.
Confrontation of transsexuals in person did not be the climactic
focus of my Sinful Desire because I did not want to be “exposed”
of what I desired and have a label attached to me as being a
“Homosexual” or “Gay”. I concealed it among myself so that at
the same time of keeping my identity as being a straight male in the
eyes of society, the thrill of being on the low became an adrenaline
rush to me as well. Throughout my college years, I continued to have
intercourse with transgenders even when I had a girlfriend. The one
thing that I have to say in relation to what I done in my past with
transsexuals is that, after I committed the action, the intensified
motives to commit the Sin left me every single time after I had
ejaculated, making me feel vulnerable,ashamed and I always was left
with the question that I asked myself every time afterward “Why Did
I even do that?” The devil will lead you to the barn house to get
slaughtered every time in the spirit and leave you at the end of your
sinful act “feeling” empty and missing something that is very
important in this Life and that is knowing who you truly are and what
is your divine purpose on this earth in which God has Created. As the
last year of my college years had approached, I began to be connected
to a spiritual sister who was heavily anointed by the presence of the
Holy Ghost, me not knowing at the time, I know that was the Lord
truly introducing himself to me. I would just view her status here
and there, not never truly seeking for myself because I was obviously
living in Sin, in a sense of me looking at her statuses from time to
time I thought my Life and my walk with the Lord was acceptable in
His eyes and that If I just prayed at night I would be alright. Now
that I look back those moments and how I though about things, If I
would have died in my past, I know I would of went straight to Hell.
I wasn't praying nobodies prayers at night, I was going out,
Partying,drinking,masturbating and fornicating frequently and
composed of all things that consumed my flesh was me smoking
marijuana. I smoked so much, with peers and by myself alone that with
my own finances I believe I spent over 1,000 dollars, maybe even
more, in a time frame of about 7 months with back to back purchases
of the substance. As I continued to do the things of this world, I
remember three particular nights that the Lord will never let me
forget, for they are Truly a Blessing to have happen because It lead
to me be in the position I am with Him, Filled with his abundant
Grace,Mercy and the third person in the Trinity, The Holy Spirit,
Thank You Jesus, To God be the Glory. The first night was when before
I went to sleep I tired to Pray Psalms
23 because
I always knew it, my mother taught it to me throughout my youth and
it ministered to my heart to always remember this prayer for it held
me close to the Lord but that night as I got half way of reciting it
I could Not remember the words, it stumped me and it was brought to
my knowledge that something was terribly wrong, that I have
definitely been removed from the presence of God, for God does Not
Like Sin and he will remove one self from his Presence. The second
night was when I was fasting, giving my body to the Lord, but me
still living in my sinful desires, that evening I began to smoke with
a group of friends, it was almost 12 o clock and I was going to get
off my fast, I shake my head at myself looking back now on how
ignorant I was to mock the Son of the Living God by intertwining Holy
Devotion of the Flesh(fasting) with smoking marijuana(Sin). As I
smoked, for those who have smoked, you know it is a false sense of
Happiness and Joy as well as a consumption of Paranoia. As I was
laughing, I leaned over Hard in laughter and the Holy Ghost consumed
me in the mist of Sin and said unto me “Stop
Laughing”,
soon as He said this I stopped laughing and I began to position
myself in an Upright Position, as if I was sitting in an high chair
almost. He then proceed to ask me “Do
you see everyone in this room?” I
then replied “Yes
I do” He
then proceed to say to me “Everyone
on earth haves an ordained purpose on earth, the Longer they prolong
turning to the Lord, the less likely it would be for them to fulfill
their destiny, come with me, join me in this battle” then
the presence of the Holy Spirit Left me and I was back to my state of
mind of being paranoid. This was the main Climax that drew me near to
the Lord. I just want to give him all praise and worship in the
middle of me explaining the Totality of My Testimony. I Thank You
Father for saving a wretch like Me, You have been NOTHING but
Merciful to Me throughout My Life even in the MIST of my SIN you came
unto me to show me that You desire me to be a servant unto the
Kingdom of Heaven and I say Thank You for showing me your Glory and
your magnitude of Power and abundant Grace upon my Life. Thank You
Jesus!!! Thank You Lord!!!*Raises Hand In Surrender*. The Third night
that was significant to my change was when I was going out to a party
and I had once again smoking marijuana, as I am walking down from my
apartment at my college, there were three females and one was drunk,
her friend asked me could I help her carry her friend to the car and
me being under the influence, I smiled and said “Yea sure, I don't
mind” As I am taking her friend to the car, the girl I was holding
lean over to me and said “Hey what is your name” I replied by
saying “John” and she then asked me “John, have you been
drinking or smoking” I smiled and said “Smoking” she then
laughed, mind you I never met this girl before that night that I
helped her in the car, I seen her around campus a few times but never
sparked up a conversation with her, that was just how my personality
was in relation to staying to myself. As she laughed she then turned
back towards me and said “You
know that You are going to have to stop smoking” Me
being under the influence, I just laughed and kept helping her to the
car, as I put her in the car, her friend said “Thank You” and I
proceed to say “Y'all be Safe” before the girl who I helped get
to the car got all the way inside the car, she then looked at me and
said “Alright
John, remember You are going to have to stop smoking”. As
I got in my car, I kept smiling but something in me said “That
was nothing but the Holy Spirit talking to me” As
I look back on all three scenarios, All I could do at times is just
break down and cry because the presence of the Holy Spirit is just
pure Love, Grace and will do everything it wants to do in order to
get your attention, but YOU have to make the choice to take heed to
the message(s) that the Holy Spirit says to you through other people.
As You Read the Totality of My Testimony I pray from the deepest
parts of my Heart,Mind and Spirit that Only God knows about that this
truly touches your spirit to Truly, I mean Truly Seek God Diligently
and Repent of your Sins and allow the Lord our God to enter into your
Life so that the manifestation of the Holy Spirit can commence. As I
graduated from college and came back to my home in Charlotte, I felt
in my flesh to want to engage in smoking again, as well as
fornication, but as I sat on the couch, their was a split decision
that had to be made. It was like I was drawn in a spiritual
conference room with My spirit and the Holy Spirit debating and
waiting for my decision to be made before the thorn of God. As I said
“Man I want to smoke” I stopped myself and remembered that I was
not where I used to be, a new season of my life had begun and I
didn't want to be the same “John” that I was in college, so as I
sat there, I asked the Lord right then and there to Removed every
desire of any and everything that was not of Him away from Me and as
I spoke those words, I had No desire,want or craving of
smoking,fornicating,transsexuals,Secular Music, None of the world
resides In me, I have been Set Free(John
8:36).
I was Heal and Delivered and I Thank the Lord til this Day, I Rejoice
and Give him all Praise and Worship. For the Lord our God is so GREAT
in all He does!!! If He Delivered Me from Sinful Lifestyle, He can
definitely deliver and Bring you out of yours as well, Believe, have
Faith in his holy name and Call upon him with a sincere Heart and He
will Forgive you of All Sins and Transform you into a Child of Light
so that you can be the Light of the World and Testify on behalf of
the Great God, the Almighty Savior of the World, Jesus Christ, Thee
Messiah.
I
Pray that those who have Read can Accept the Lord Jesus Christ By
Faith and Believe that He died for your Sins and mine and Repent of
All Sins. For it says in word that “If
we confess our sins, he is faithful
and just
to forgive
us
our
sins,
and to cleanse
us
from all
unrighteousness.”
1
John 1:9 KJV
I
don't know you, but I Love you, Just as God loved us to Give us his
Only Begotten Son to Die for our Sins so that we may be reconciled
with God.
For
God so loved the
world, that he gave
his only begotten Son, that whosoever
believeth in
him should not
perish,
but have
everlasting
life. John 3:16 KJV
And
all things are of God, who hath reconciled
us
to himself
by Jesus
Christ, and hath given
to us the
ministry of reconciliation;
2 Corinthians 5:18 KJV
May
the Lord bless you and If you are Saved by the Blood of Jesus Christ
please pass this on to an individual you may know who can be blessed
by this testimony and words of encouragement.
May
the Lord, Jesus Christ receive Glory upon Glory, Today and forever
more.
